


Lie Better Than the Truth

by Daiako (Achrya)



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Rating May Change, Sharing a Bed, Sibling Incest, Silly, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Achrya/pseuds/Daiako
Summary: “You want me to what?” Fili asked, voice disturbingly deadpan. It was worrying but in the grand scheme of things probably the best reaction Kili could hope for. He’d actually been prepared for yelling or laughter or even for his brother to get up and leave his apartment; toneless questioning was probably an improvement over any of those. Probably.He hoped it was.Kili rubbed the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. “So. I need you. To pretend to be my boyfriend. In front of my friends and the archery team while you're here.”





	Lie Better Than the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Hokay. I'm going to try shorter chapters for more frequent updates. ...is what I'm saying here, in chapter 1. Let's see how long it takes before I'm  pushing 4-5k chapters again. ;)

 

“You want me to what?” Fili asked, voice disturbingly deadpan. It was worrying but in the grand scheme of things probably the best reaction Kili could hope for. He’d actually been prepared for yelling or laughter or even for his brother to get up and leave his apartment; toneless questioning was probably an improvement over any of those. Probably.

He hoped it was.

Kili rubbed the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. “So. I need you to. Pretend to be my boyfriend. In front of my friends and the archery team while you're here.”

Fili blinked slowly then, with an air of long suffering and an exaggerated sigh that Kili knew amounted to ‘why are you like this’,  took a long pull from his beer bottle. And, eyes closing, another before finally setting it down on the coffee table. His eyes stayed close as he leaned back on the couch, head tilted back to thump against the cushions. Kili watched, stomach twisting anxiously as the silence between them stretched and stretched. He tapped his fingers on his knee, watching his brother intently, silently willingly him to say something, anything at all.

He spoke first, of course. The silent treatment had always been Fili’s thing because Kili was unable to keep his mouth shut when he was nervous. Fili knew if he just waited long enough Kili would spill his guts every single time. He didn't even have to push or argue; just sit and wait and Kili would crumble every time. Oh, sure, Kili tried to not give but the tension in the room was unbearable and he just wasn't any good at not talking to his brother.

“Fee, I know how weird this sounds and that I'm asking a lot but-”

Fili cracked his eyes open to stare at him through pale lashes, mouth twisting into a half smile. “I’m not sure you do. Why me? W-why do you need a fake boyfriend at all? What the hell are you doing up here?”

Here being Greenwood University where Kili had, much to the horror of his family, decided to go to school. He was in his junior year and well settled in at the school, doing well in his classes, and had a decent circle of friends. He liked it, also to the horror of his family, a lot. Uncle Thorin couldn't make it through a holiday dinner without bemoaning Kili’s choice to go to school off in a cursed forest (a vast exaggeration but Thorin considered the entire country of Greenwood a forest), surrounded by hippies, tree huggers, and _vegans._  Kili was comfortable, very comfortable, and he wanted it to remain that way. Which was how he’d ended up in the situation to begin with, honestly. He’s been in an uncomfortable situation of his own creation and had been willing to do whatever it took to get out of it.

Including lie.

“There’s this guy, Bolg, who is on the archery team with me. Completely and utter fuckwit, actually, but there was a thing and there were drinks-"

“Do I need to hear this?” Fili frowned. “There are things no older brother ever needs to know.”

Kili's nose wrinkled in disgust. “It wasn't...we made out. I guess. I don't remember but I woke up in Bard's extra room so it couldn't have been anything serious. Except it gave Bolg the wrong idea and it turns out he can’t take no for an answer. No many how many times someone says it. Or hides from him at parties. Or tries to explain very nicely that they are focused on school and not looking to date. Or says ‘no, fucker, don't touch me and if you do it again I'll break your hand’, among other things.”

Fili started out looking faintly amused but looked properly upset by the time Kili paused, brows knitted together and mouth pressing into a thin line. There was a twitch to his eye that Kili knew meant his brother was mad.

“Bolg you said?” There was a dangerous forced casualness to his tone that set warning bells off in Kili’s head. That didn’t sound good at all. “He still messing with you?”

“No.” Kili shook his head. “I told him I have a boyfriend who I am wildly in love with and can do no wrong and he backed off, mostly.”

Not at first but after repeating it a few times and really playing up how awesome his fake boyfriend was he’d managed to get it through Bolg’s incredibly thick head that there was absolutely no way anything was going to happen between them. And, yes, it had involved getting super detailed with his story and, in hindsight, he’d laid the whole ‘incredibly hot and smart and kind and funny and fucks like a machine’ stuff on thicker than was strictly necessary, but he’d needed to emphasize that there was no way Bolg could compare.

The thing was Bolf wasn’t used to being told no. His family was rich, (through less than strictly legal means from what Kili had heard), his father was a politician with some power behind him, and Bolg was not nearly as stupid as one would expect from someone who seemed to be a traditional jock. While not what Kili would call handsome he didn’t seem to have any issues getting dates, even if just because of the money he flashed around. ‘No’ was just not part of his vocabulary.

Bolg had never gotten angry or ‘weird’ about Kili turning him down though, and his many attempts had been so good natured that Tauriel and Legolas, Kili’s closest friends, had thought his complaints about Bolg’s attention were over exaggerated. He was persistent, they agreed, but it was all in fun and it wasn't like he was trying to force anything. Bard, who was sort if a friend by association, had even suggested Kili just go out with Bolg, convinced that once Bolg got what he wanted he’d get bored and lay off.

Hell, there had been times where Kili himself had wondered if he was making too big a deal of it. Sure Bolg couldn't accept a no but he laughed when Kili turned him down and stayed friendly. It wasn’t like he’d tried anything ‘untoward’.

But Kili still didn't want to date him or fuck him or anything like that.

In the end he’d come up with the boyfriend thing in hopes it would be an easy end to the unwanted attention but without blowing things out of proportion. And it would have been if not for Legolas and Tauriel, the nosy jerks.

“But I guess he told someone and it got around to the rest of the team so...I had to keep the lie going. Stories about the boyfriend, you know? And it was no big deal for a while but then they wanted pictures and I’d already said the guy was blond and...well. I had pictures of you? On my phone, with me, already so that’s what I showed them.”

Fili’s eyebrows lifted. “So you used pictures of me, your brother, and told you friends that I was your boyfriend. Your friends who don’t know you have a brother after all this time?”

“Well. Yeah. I mean, I don’t talk about the family much. You know how it is.” There was just too much baggage in explaining that his uncle was president of Erebor, the tiny country that shared a border with Greenwood, and that his family was technically of a (now defunct, after his great grandfather had been deposed) royal line. Technically. He enjoyed a nice normal life, without bodyguards or hanger ons or people who wanted to get close for the wrong reasons, and that meant being vague about his family.  “We don’t look a lot alike, you’re blond, and you’re so much shorter than me-” Fili glared at him. “So no one questioned it.”

In fact it’d been easy. First he’d started with pictures he had handy of Fili, proved that his hot blond boyfriend was real and someone he actually knew at the very least, and when his friends had proven to be curious he’d had tons more of them together to back up the outrageous stories. Side by side, grinning broadly, practically sitting on each other as they crammed into chairs, the backseat of cars, and booths when they were out to eat, Kili with his arm around Fili’s shoulders as they hung out, and so much more.

Nothing really that screamed ‘dating’ to Kili but it had been enough to satiate his friends’ curiosity for nearly a year.  

Until they’d started making noise about never meeting Fili or even speaking to him. For all that Kili had met Legolas and Tauriel’s families and Tauriel’s boyfriends, Elladan and Elrohir, and even babysat Bard’s son, there had never been any of the same on his end. They’d recently started asking more questions, poking at his stories and wondering about his mysterious family.

Worst of all Bolg was showing interest again.

And then Fili, with his knack for making his life as hard as possible, had called to say he was coming visit for the winter holidays since Kili wasn't coming home this year. He hadn't asked or given any options because that wasn't Fili’s way of doing things. He'd called to let Kili know what day and what time his flight would land and then hung up.

No one but Fili could do that and still have Kili show up to pick them up.

Kili’s first thought, after grumbling about what a dick his brother was, basically amounted to panic at the thought of all his lies coming down in spectacular fashion. Then a half baked plan to just keep Fili inside for however long he planned to be there had occurred to him. Except the team would expect him to show up for holiday parties. And Fili would never go for being kept indoors when he’d been so clear about wanting to see what Greenwood had to offer. And wanted to meet his friends. And not be kept prisoner because Kili was a fuck up.

To say nothing of Legolas living in the same building as him, exactly four apartments down the hallway and Bard and his family living across the street. If Kili started playing hermit they’d come looking and then they’d see Fili and want to know why he was hiding his boyfriend...it would be a mess.

He’d almost told Fili to not come at all but something like that would have just brought Fili running to his side that much quicker to make sure he was okay. He’d considered all of his options and the potential outcomes and, finally, had settled on asking Fili to pretend to be his boyfriend. He was aware of how crazy it was but if anyone was going to help him out it was his brother. Fili might laugh and mock and blackmail him forever and make him grovel for it but never had his brother let him down.

Not yet anyway.

If ever there was a time for Fili to decide he was more trouble than he was worth it was here and now. Asking someone to play fake boyfriend, after he’d constructed a whole backstory and spun a web of lies, was no small thing. Asking his brother was an even bigger deal but, well, what else could he do now?

...aside from come clean of course but he was looking for reasonable solutions here.

The silence between them had grown heavy again. Kili shifted and looked down at his hands again. “I figured you could be impressive and make me look good, you know? And get Bolg off my back for good.”

“Incest is very impressive.”

Kili cringed. “It’s not real. It isn’t like we’re going to be dating for real or...doing. Things.”

A long pause from his brother had Kili peeking up at him through lowered lashes. Fili’s expression was so deeply unimpressed that Kili had to look away from it. Fili had always had a way of making him feel like he was doing something incredibly stupid with just a glance.

“Have you actually thought this through?”

“Yes?”

“So you’ve considered that we’ll need to act like a couple? A convincing couple. We’ll have to be reasonably nice to each other. Touch. Hold hands maybe. Kiss and not have it be weird or look like it’s the first time we’ve ever done it. We’ll need to look like we’re in love.”

Kili blinked. Fili stared. Kili frowned. Fili sighed. Kili shrugged, conceding the point that no, he hadn’t thought about that part. But he was thinking about it now and it didn’t seem too hard. Fili and he were a little...snippy with each other as a way of life but surely they could tone it down to be ‘reasonably’ nice. And they were pretty liberal with the touching; even now their knees were occasionally bumping together though if he were to mention it Fili would no doubt blame it on his freakishly long legs and his tiny couch.

Still that was different from ‘couple’ type affection, wasn’t it?

“We don’t have to kiss, do we?” Kili asked slowly, brow furrowing. “Maybe we’re not a PDA kind of couple. ...except maybe I told people you can’t keep your hands off of me, ever.”

And had bragged about an amazing sex life that he absolutely wasn’t actually having or had ever had. He’d never even really dated anyone; his concerns had always been school, family, archery, and Fili, with room for some friends and not much else. A real relationship had always seemed too daunting for him to really consider. A few dates, some hurried and messy experiences in the back of a car or in his bedroom between the time he got home from school and his parents got home but that was about it.

But he was a great actor. He could take it.

“Who could?” Fili drawled. Kili ignored him.

“Okay. Well. I could do it, if you could.” He said, nodding resolutely though if it was to convince Fili or himself he wasn’t sure. His brother’s eyebrows jumped so far up Kili was half convinced they were trying to escape his face and fly into orbit. “It’s not a big deal, just a few little parties, maybe dinner? We act like we’re dating for a few hours, maybe kiss once or twice.”

Fili tilted his head to the side, eyes half-hooded and dark as they slowly swept over him from head to toe. A shiver raced up Kili’s spine, strange and unexpected, and gooseflesh rose up over his skin. He frowned, tempted to look away again.

Fili shrugged. “Okay.

Kili opened his mouth, ready to argue that he really could do this then stopped, mouth closing with a click, and gaped at Fili who smirked back at him lazily. “What?”

“I said okay. I’ll help you out under two conditions.” Fili held up a single finger. “First, you take the couch until I leave. I get the bed.”

Kili bit his tongue to keep from calling foul. His couch was small enough that even Fili was going to have to curl up to fit. Kili, who was a good bit taller, was going to have to fold practically in half to sleep on it. And, if he was being strictly honest, it wasn’t all that comfortable. He’d inherited it from Bard when Hilda, Bard’s girlfriend, had decided the sharp corners and exposed springs were not what she wanted around their infant son, so it wasn’t nice. But with some blankets and pillows tossed on it had proven comfortable enough to watch movies and do classwork on.

And for the occasional drunken crash. Sleeping on it for roughly two weeks however…

He closed his eyes and thought about Bolg, sour breathed and leering as he crowded into his space and put his hands on him yet again. A sore back would be heaven compared to that.

“Fine. Asshole.” He grumbled. “What’s the second thing?”

The couch creaked and shifted; Kili felt his brother’s presence leaning closer to him. A hand, calloused but somehow soft, cupped the side of his face. He opened his eyes, startled, just in time to see the kiss coming before Fili was kissing him. He froze, brain shutting down hard, and could only stare with widening eyes at his brother’s shut tight eyes.

He couldn’t even pull himself together enough to be shocked or disgusted or anything except there, unable to move.

It was, he would reflect later, over fast. Just warm chapped lips against his own, moving against his, the rasp of his beard and tickle of his mustache against his lip, a thoughtful hum and then Fili was gone, sitting back to sprawl over the opposite end of the couch.

“You can’t make that face in front of your friends.” Fili said. “That’s the second condition: if you aren’t sure you can do it then we don’t. I can play along but not if this is going to blow up on us halfway through.”

Kili sucked in a breath then nodded as if his mind hadn’t finally caught up and wasn’t screaming ‘Fili Just Kissed Me!!’ frantically. “Got it.”

Fili’s smirk was as infuriating as it ever and did wonders to loosen the knot that had settled in his stomach. “Great. Now go clean all the incriminating stuff you don’t want me to see out of your room. I’m exhausted.”

Kili was half tempted to argue there was nothing incriminating and that Fili shouldn’t be poking into his stuff anyway. But, taking in the tilt of his brother’s lips and the glint of humor in his eye, he found himself hurrying to his room anyway.

He’d already given Fili enough blackmail material to last a lifetime, there was no reason to give him more.

And, maybe, a little distance would help calm down the wild beating of his heart.


End file.
